August142009
Biased Reviews: Teddy Roosevelt Reviews Disney’s Pocahontas »
The good people over at The Talking Mirror bring yet another great article that I got a big kick out of. An excerpt:
“Smith, whose libidinous appetite grumbles audibly for brown-stained flesh, finds Pocahontas and fails to properly smother her with a smallpox blanket, thus sparking their disgraceful tryst. Vulgarly they profess their love through a nauseating musical duet about the colors of the wind. Not only is wind colorless, but savages lack sensory modalities common to most mammals, meaning they’re incapable of fathoming wind both physically and metaphorically. Regardless, the two are wildly taken by their mutual lust.
But so then John Smith is bound and gagged at Hi-Howaya headquarters. He deservedly awaits his execution. Will the savage children eat him alive or will they cook him first? This is the film’s only suspense.”
Oh, but I do love a good small-pox blanket joke….
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