March 2009
260 posts
Thoughts I've Had While Watching "Intervention"... →
(Via McSweeney’s)
Oh, she puts vodka in her fridge. I should try that.
I wonder where he bought that 2-gallon jug of wine.
Wow. Meth really helps you shed some pounds.
I wobble way more gracefully than he does.
So I guess it’s pretty much understood that you don’t have to kiss your johns on the lips. That’s a relief.
I could totally make trailer-living work.
This is...
“If people never did silly things, nothing intelligent would ever get done.”
– Ludwig Wittgenstein
February 2009
289 posts
11 Ways To Get More Bacon Into Your Diet →
I, for one, am ALWAYS looking for ways to include more bacon in my die. A few helpful suggestions from the above linked article:
1. Bacon-Stuffed Waffles
3. Bacon Crumble Apple Pie
5. Bacon Cupcakes
7. Candied Bacon Ice Cream
11. Candied Bacon Martini
“I hate fiction with an unreliable narrator. Or do I?”
– Brian Beatty (McSweeney’s)
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How much for a hitman? →
This is why I love Slate. They publish great articles on things like how much it costs to hire a hitman.
Apparently in Russia, murders for hire are on the rise- contracts start at just a couple hundred dollars. I KNEW there was a good reason that psycho, vodka-drinking characters in action movies are always Russians.
Oregon Trail for the iPhone →
I miss this game like the flower misses the sun on a cold February morning (don’t laugh- I’m getting my poetry on, ya hurd?!)
Who didn’t love loading up the wagon, heading west, watching your family slowly die from dysentary, and of course- assloads of buffalo hunting?
Just a tip- don’t forge the river- always pay for the bridge or bribe the Indian to help you cross.
The Twenty Weirdest TV Interviews of All Time →
Lots of classics here. It’s a fantastic list. Don’t worry- Joaquin Phoenix on Letterman has been added to the list.
Also check out Norm McDonald on Conan. Awkward in the most Norm McDonald-y way possible. And Tracy Morgan is questionably high, or drunk on Letterman. Acts exactly like his character on 30 Rock. Brilliance.
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“The entity we call Amazon has become a finely-honed machine for taking your...”
– Steven Frank (Via)
Sheep that belch: Can they be stopped? →
“On a typical day, researchers in this college town (in New Zealand) coax hungry sheep into metal carts. They wheel the fluffy beasts into sealed chambers and feed them grass, then wait for them to burp.”
The exercise is part of a global effort to keep sheep and other livestock from belching methane when they eat grass. Methane one of the most potent greenhouse gases, and researchers...
The heartbreak in 808's and Heartbreak? →
I now know who to thank for Kanye West’s wondrous 808s and Heartbreak:his ex-fiancee Alexis Phifer. She’s gotta be the Robocop, right? No short-term romance stings that bad.
(Via)
Drinks I would serve if I owned and ran a...
-The Lost Island Iced Tea -Jin and Juice -The Live Together or Mai Tai Alone -The Red-headed Slut (in honor of Charlotte) -Jack (Shephard) and Coke -Down the Hatch (it’s a flaming shot) -The Tequila SUN-rise -The B(4 8 15 16 23 42) 52 -Kate We Have To Go Back-ardi -Mai (skinny) Tie (in honor of Farraday) -The Incestuous Screaming Orgasm (Shannon + Boone) -Shot… by Michael (A double...
LOST- The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham
Let me just say, on LOST last night… some stuff went doooowwn. Check out some reviews and summaries to understand what the eff is going on in the show:
-The always funny, and very helpful Best Week Ever recap
-Key points from the LOST blog
-Episode summary from the Lospedia blog (and some thoughts on Widmore vs. Ben)
-The always well done summary from “What’s Alan...
Movies + "Pants" = Hilarity →
The best lines from Star Wars that are improved by replacing a word with “pants”.
“I find your lack of pants disturbing.”
“Chewie and me got into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.”
“I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.”
“In his pants you will find a new definition of pain and suffering.”
“Han’ll have...
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Pavement - Summer Babe (Winter Version). This is...
The Perfect Pancake Recipe →
Here’s the formula: 100 - [10L - 7F + C(k - C) + T(m - T)]/(S - E)
“In the complex formula L represents the number of lumps in the batter and C equals its consistency. The letter F stands for the flipping score, k is the ideal consistency and T is the temperature of the pan. Ideal temp of pan is represented by m, S is the length of time the batter stands before cooking and E is the...
A tale of 140 characters, plus the ones in... →
A Washington Post article about the men and women of Congress who were Twittering during Obama’s speech last night.
“President Obama spoke of economic calamity and war last night in that solemn rite of democracy, the address to the joint session of Congress. And lawmakers watched him with the dignity Americans have come to expect of their leaders: They whipped out their BlackBerrys...
U2 scored Spiderman musical due in 2010 →
Ugh. Is this really necessary?
Most unfortunate names revealed →
While not nearly as classic as some of those names I used to write in my textbook in middle school (I.P. Freely, Haywood Jablowme, etc. etc.) I suppose these are more realistic unfortunate names:
Justin Case
Barb Dwyer
Stan Still
Doug Hole
Anna Sasin
Carrie Oakey
Read the rest here.
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The Archiviest Archive there ever was!
Well the time has come… we’ve added an archive feature! It’s available by clicking “archive” (hey, I don’t make this stuff up) underneath The Poptimist there at the top. In addition to the normal search box (top right corner of the screen) you can search in the archive by month.
This “technology” thing might catch on. First we were gave in to the...
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Richter + Conan? YES! →
In what is now unquestionably the best news that I have received all day (which is marginally sad), NBC is reporting that Andy Richter will be reunited with Conan O’Brien as The Tonight Show announcer when Conan takes over for Jay Leno on June 1st. I must admit that my love for Conan mostly spanned the post-Richter years, but whenever Andy is a guest on the show, or they interact at all, it...
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Paint by numbers. →
Two Russian artists, Komar and Melamid, took a survey of 14 countries (not including, The Web, which makes 15) to determine what subject and style of painting each country values above all others, and what style of painting each country detests. They took the data they accumulated and painted what the greatest number of people in each country asked for.
The United States’ painting.
This...
The Poptimist Pancake Day PSA →
Just a reminder to you folks that today - Feb. 24, 2009 is “National Pancake Day” at IHOP, and in celebration they are giving out a free short stack of pancakes until 10pm tonight to everyone who comes through the door. So get out there and get some free ‘cakes, cause it’s National Pancake Day! (apparently)
“Twittering stems from a lack of identity. It’s a constant update of who you are,...”
– Oliver James, here
In other news… did I mention we’re on Twitter?! This seems like as good of a time to announce that as any. What has two thumbs, and a lack of identity? THIS BLOG. (That was admittedly weak.)
“Her Morning Elegance,” by Oren Lavie....
“The old man smiled. ‘I shall not die of a cold, my son. I shall die of having...”
– Willa Cather, Death Comes for the Archbishop
Smart blocks →
From the recent TED conference, a demo of Siftables, blocks that are smart. These things sense each other’s presence, can react accordingly, and require no instructions. Intuitive, intelligent computing. Isn’t this what technology is all about?
(Via)
Close your AmEx card; get $300 →
If you have an American Express credit card and you pay off your remaining balance within the next two months, then the company will send you a prepaid card worth, yep, 300 bones. Things must be getting pretty desperate around the American Express offices - they’re actively looking to offload customers. What recession? Hm?
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Photos of fast food in ads and in real life. →
This is always so disappointing to me: whenever I see a picture of a product and said product turns out to be greasier and squashier and shinier than that lovely, lovely product photo. Also, check out “Comparing food products with their package photos”.
(Via)
THE_REAL_SHAQ is the real Shaq. →
After receiving a Twitter that THE_REAL_SHAQ was at a particular diner in Phoenix, two guys decided to see if it was REALLY_THE_REAL_SHAQ.
“We went in, and to my surprise the MDE(Most Dominant Ever) was sitting in the corner booth by himself. We gave the man a nod and ‘Hey’ as we walked to our table and were soon whispering back and forth like 12 year old girls at the 7th grade...